I want what God wants for me more than what I want for myself.

I read this on Val Marie Paper's blog and it stopped me.

YES. gulp.

I must step out in faith. I must step out in grace. I must match my behavior to my beliefs.


So often right now I am feeling completely moved by the Lord and Holy Spirit. Tears welling, deep breath, an awareness of the sky and its breadth. A fearlessness creeping up, for the first time, to overcome the fear.

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!" Romans 8:15

Right now, I am grave-tending. I am constantly looking backward, asking for forgiveness, clinging to breaths of thanksgiving and feeling completely overwhelmed by thoughts of the future. THIS IS NOT HOW GOD WANTS ME TO LIVE.

Adventurously expectant... makes me grin. makes my heart swell.

And make me realize how I am not living like that. at all. I need a change. I have faith in God's promises, lavish grace and love for ME.